I got my hair cut and styled by a professional hairdresser for the first time in my life. the effect is so amazing that I can’t recognize myself in the mirror! I didn’t know looking good was so easy.
My bank called me and asked me whether I wanted a credit card. I said yes!
I’m thinking of writing a blog dedicated to my experience of getting arranged married. I mean baba is hell bent on marrying me off this year. And it will be an arranged marriage(unfortunately). Might as well let other girls benefit from the experience.
I am telling you this because I wish someone had told me this.
Girls, when you get in your early 20s it’s important for you to get married. Do not delay your marriage. If you get a good proposal say yes! Don’t reject good boys by giving stupid excuses.
I know getting married is scary and all. Especially because we go the arranged marriage way but trust me the consequences of delaying your marriage will be worse. I know most girls will say that they have to study, work, do something in their career and then get married- that’s what I thought. But when you really think about it, you have a lot of time to study and build a career AFTER marriage (there is no need for you to start popping out babies immediately after you get hitched).
Because there is an age for getting married and after you pass that age it will be difficult to find a good spouse and then you will have to compromise, and that’s the truth.
This realization suddenly hit me very clearly, when I decided to make a profile for my elder brother on a shia matrimonial website. When I was looking at female profiles(for my bro), I was very surprised to see that most of the girls were 19, 20, 21 i.e. under 25. They were smart,educated(pursuing), beautiful and religious! And I thought about myself, I’m 25 years old and single! In a purely arranged marriage situation, if a guy is given a choice between a 21 yr old and a 25 yr old, he will choose the 21 yr old. that’s a fact. Men prefer marrying younger girls and even if they don’t their moms prefer marrying them to younger girls!
And if you look at it from a religious perspective, marriage is half your religion and most of the dwellers of hell will be single. It is very,very difficult to stay away from sin if you are single. It is very easy for Shaitan to mislead you.
It’s a very famous hijab store in South Bombay where you get wellstitched customized hijab. i went there alone to get my coat stitched And ofcourse they wanted my measurements. So I was like you can ask a female assistant to take my measurements. To my surprise the owner said that there aren’t any female asiistants to take my measurements! I was like,” what! I am not going to let the male tailor (the master, as the head tailor is called here in India) do it.”. So then they had no choice but to make my coat without my measurements.
And then when my coat finally got stitched it was a disaster and I had a mini arguement with him. I told him it was his fault that he didn’t keep a female assistant, afterall it’s a hijab shop! The owner was quiet surprised by my strong stance. He was like,”Madam, No one thinks like you do. All my customers are ok with letting a male assistant take their measurements.”
Anyway,the issue was solved with him agreeing to do alterations but he charged me for it(which I thought was unfair!).
Afterwards, he was making my bill, he asked me for my name.
I said my surname. So he chuckled and said more to himself than to me,”A Sayyeda, I should have known!”
I’m dying of hunger but I’m too tired to get up and make something to eat. I have started hating Maggi. I used to love it now but I hate it. The minute I put it in my mouth, I get the horrible soapy taste. But it’s so easy to make.
A good friend of mine who suffers from schizophrenia has relapsed again. The most difficult part is when I spoke to her on the phone, she said in an anguished voice, “Why am I on anti psychotics? The doctor is saying I have schizophrenia! Life is so difficult, How am I going to live with this disease!..”and she went on to say somethings related to her persecutory delusions.
The strange thing is that she has formed delusions about everyone including her mother and husband(that they are trying to kill her). But she hasn’t formed any delusions about me.
It was very difficult for me to accept that my friend has a mental disorder. It is very difficult for my friend to accept that she has a mental disorder. I just hope that her husband doesn’t abandon her like he did last time.
Most men are such selfish bastards. One of the reasons why I’m not keen on getting married.
My Dadi(paternal grandmother) is almost 90 years old and age is really causing her cognitive faculties to deteriorate. It’s breaking my heart to see this happen to her.
My grandmother was a very affectionate, caring and pious woman and I was really close to her. but now she keeps forgetting,she is usually not oriented to time and place, she keeps losing her way to the bathroom, she hallucinates, she keeps falling down,she gets anxiety attacks and crying spells. And the worst part is that she doesn’t recognize anybody. She treats us like strangers.
So we keep her under supervision at all times. We don’t leave her alone.
Everyday after I get home from work, I sit beside her with my arm around her while she mumbles (usually incoherently).
Yesterday she was saying,”I was not like this but my mother died then baba died, then nana, nani (referring to her grandparents) died and he also passed away (referring to my grandfather). Everyone died.” Tears trickled down her cheeks.
I felt so distressed. I hugged her, wiped her tears and tried to comfort her.
My Dadi’s parents and grandparents died in her youth but she still cries over them.
She suddenly registered my presence. She looked at me like she would look at a stranger and asked,”Have you finished your studies?”
I told her that I had finished my studies two years ago. “Then what are you doing now?”, she asked. I told her that I was working and that I had just come back from work.
She looked disturbed and mumbled to herself,”We should get you married. We need to look for a nice dulha(bridegroom) for you.”
Hearing this made me laugh! Even though my grandmother’s cognitive faculties have deteriorated very badly she STILL worries about marrying me off! That’s how most desi grannys are!
My college had banned the hijab in the campus. I was the only student who insisted on keeping the hijab on. So they made life hell for me.They were many Muslim hijabi students but all of them removed the hijab at the gate.
Since I was the only one who insisted on wearing hijab the whole management and the professors ganged up against me. They thought I was rebelling and revolting against the rules. My college days were horrible.
I remember one particular incident. I was in the middle of a very important exam. And a very prejudiced Hindu Professor came up to me in the middle of the exam and asked me to remove my hijab. I was in a fix. I hadn’t brought a dupatta(stole) with me. I was wearing shalwar kameez underneath my coat and scarf. For me being without hijab is like being naked. And being without a dupatta is unthinkable. So, I did not remove my hijab and continued to write the paper. Kept reciting Naade Ali.
The bitch professor came again and started screaming and abusing me and asked me to remove my hijab immediately. I told her,”But I can’t remove my hijab. I don’t have a dupatta!”. She said,”I don’t care. That’s not my problem. Remove your burqa at once!”
I removed my coat. Wore my scarf like a dupatta because I knew that bitch wouldn’t let me cover my hair.
I sat down on my seat. And burst into tears.
I wept for a long time. I was crying because my hair was visible for everyone to see. I was crying because of how unfair, unjust and oppressive it was for them to ask me to remove my hijab. I was crying because I was feeling insulted and humiliated. Luckily,my hindu best friend was sitting behind me. The poor dear was trying to make me stop crying,”Zaini, don’t cry. It’s ok. You need to write the paper. We are running out of time.”
So, I finally composed myself and finished the paper. I think that they deliberately did this drama in the exam so that I don’t get good marks(since I was a topper).But I still topped the class.
Ironically, these same people nominated me for the best student award in the third year of college. Every year the class topper was nominated as thebest student.They had to nominate me. They had no choice because I was good in academics and always topped the class.
Returning from work. Totally exhausted.
I had promised that I would meet my elder sister at the mall. There’s some world food festival going on there and she’s gonna give me a treat!
I gave her advice which I give to everyone,”Timepass mat karo” (Don’t do timepass). “Achcha lagta hai toh shaadi karlo.”(If you like him get married).
“It’s not THAT simple, Zainab!”, she said.
I really think it is that simple. There is no point in continuing with a relationship when there is no possibility of marriage whatsoever. There is no point in getting emotionally involved with a guy you cannot marry.
At this stage of life my friend can get married. She has finished her studies and has professionally established herself.
When we were in college, my advice to my friends in love was always this,”Don’t go out with him. Tell him to wait till you finish your post graduation and then see if you still have feelings for each other. If you do. Get married. If he really likes you that much. He will wait for you.”
Basically the crux is timepass mat karo! lol!
I don’t know how long I’ll be able to do this. I don’t think I’m pious enough to teach Islam to anyone. I’m such a defective, lowly, sinful person.
Just because my parents are super pious and really knowledgeable, people assume I’m too. They think I should take Islamic class because mom and Baba are great teachers.
There is immense pressure on me to be like them.
They don’t understand. My parents are something else. They are extremely unworldly and totally unmaterialistic. They have dedicated their whole life to serving Imame Zamana by spreading Islamic knowledge.
I’m not like them. I don’t think I can ever be like them.
Whenever I talk about God with people from different faiths. I realize that ultimately we are all the same. Almost everyone is on their personal search to recognize God and become a better person.